Me: I hate to begin with a question you must have heard ad nauseum, but do people ever tell you that they're a little scared of skulls?
dembones: Not so much as you'd think. For one thing, my shop title gives a pretty strong indication of my wares, so if someone is irrationally threatened by skulls, they probably tend to avoid my shop. For another thing, people never tell me anything at all. You are the first person who has ever taken the time to ask my feelings about anything! Thank you so very much for actually addressing me. I adore my shopkeeper, whom I affectionately refer to as "dem," but it is wonderful to finally be able to speak for myself!
Although I must add that I find it rather hilarious that so many people are frightened of their own body part, which is primarily dedicated to protecting their own brains. Not that I carry living body parts, or even parts that were once alive. However, if there is one fate you all share as humans, is that your lives will eventually come to an end and, given the chance, the only part of you that will still exist after your inevitable departure is the very bones that frighten you. It's like being frightened by your toenails or bellybutton. But humans have always seemed an inscrutable bunch to me.
Me: Well. I have never thought of it that way. I do enjoy El Día de los Muertos. Why don't we begin with some of your items that celebrate that day?
dembones: Ok. As you can imagine, we have many items related to La Día de los Muertos. Here are a few of my favorites:
dembones: I always say that if one sugar cube skull is good, 36 are better!
Me: I couldn't agree with you more. Plus I enjoy the variety of this item; it can be eaten on La Día de los Muertos, or any day you like.
dembones: Hmmm.. Maybe that is where some of my "lost" inventory is ending up. My lovely proprietress does enjoy her sugar...
dembones: I am also very proud of this necklace. It features terra cotta skull beads my shopkeeper brought back herself from Quintana Roo, Mexico. If you look closely enough, you'll find that each skull is unique.
Me: Wow! A real collector's item. That won't end up in your stomach!
dembones: (loud, crackly chuckle).
dembones: Speaking of which, I find these to be very popular with children. in fact, if the children who will be eating these tend to have a sweet tooth (and what child doen't?) I'd consider buying two or even three of these lovely nine-pack skulls.
Me: Fortunately, the color of food matters less to me than the taste, so I'd be happy buying one or two of the large boxes.
Me: So far we have been speaking mostly of confectionaries and delicacies in the shape of skulls. Aside from the Mexican bead necklace, do you carry other items designed to be worn rather than eaten?
dembones: Of course! This is my all-time favorite piece:
Me: Wow! This is truly amazing. How big is it?
dembones: Excellent question. These skulls are 7 inches tall and 4 1/2 inches wide. They're non-toxic and safe for the oven or dishwasher, should you plan, shall we say unusual, ways in which to enjoy them.
dembones: May we close with one of my favorite items? I have a black thumb, so to speak...
Me: Well, I have a black thumb for real, so let's take a look.
dembones: You can customize the tombstones if you like. For example, perhaps some belladonna or deadly nightshade might be just the thing for those annoying neighbors who keep you up all night. You could invite them in for a nightly cuppa. Just add a slight dash of each to a cup of chamomile tea with honey; only enough to help them sleep through the night. Although in reality, all my products are non-toxic. Ah well.
Me: Those tombstones would be the only plants growing in my house! Speaking of which, thank you so much for the tour of your shop.Your items and conversation have been delightful. And when I learned they could be made out of sugar and eaten, my fear of skulls disappeared entirely. I hope to see you again some day as a customer.
dembones: That would be lovely, or you can just stop by for a visit and snack (will my mistress be reading this? If so, please make sure she knows it's a small snack!)
Me: I'm sure she'll be fine. Maybe she can put aside some "seconds"; skulls with crooked foreheads or missing teeth.
dembones: She already does that! A way to teach children that recycled products can also be enjoyed as candy. Please do stop by. I'm always here, though my shopkeeper disappears from time to time.
Me: Good to know I have a friend who's always around. Thank you again so very much. It's been a pleasure.
dembones: Any time. Especially if we've just had a rather large, ah, spillage? ;)
Me: Definitely.
Me: Well, I have a black thumb for real, so let's take a look.
Me: Those tombstones would be the only plants growing in my house! Speaking of which, thank you so much for the tour of your shop.Your items and conversation have been delightful. And when I learned they could be made out of sugar and eaten, my fear of skulls disappeared entirely. I hope to see you again some day as a customer.
dembones: That would be lovely, or you can just stop by for a visit and snack (will my mistress be reading this? If so, please make sure she knows it's a small snack!)
Me: I'm sure she'll be fine. Maybe she can put aside some "seconds"; skulls with crooked foreheads or missing teeth.
dembones: She already does that! A way to teach children that recycled products can also be enjoyed as candy. Please do stop by. I'm always here, though my shopkeeper disappears from time to time.
Me: Good to know I have a friend who's always around. Thank you again so very much. It's been a pleasure.
dembones: Any time. Especially if we've just had a rather large, ah, spillage? ;)
Me: Definitely.
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